Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others,
are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams

Friendship among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

The Gulf of Oil from Space on Day 75 -- Mother Jones

This Earth Observatory posted this image from July 4th of oil from the damaged Deepwater Horizon oil well off the Mississippi Delta. The MODIS on NASA’s Terra captured the natural-color image. The oil appears as an uneven light gray shape east-southeast of the delta.

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BP: Putting the "Fun" in Dysfunction -- Mother Jones

Talk about creepy foresight meets dark humor: The UK Metro unearthed a 1970s board game marketed by BP, "Offshore Oil Strike." The game's tag line, "The thrills of drilling, the hazards and rewards as you bring in your own …" seems somewhat regrettable given the company's current situation.

Read on ...

Pi day: Five tasty facts about the famous ratio -- New Scientist

Mathematics enthusiasts will this weekend be celebrating Pi day, which falls on 14 March in honour of the famous ratio's first few digits, 3.14. You probably know that pi is the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter, but here are some less familiar facts about the mathematical constant. We did consider giving you 3.14 facts but alas we had five…

Read on ...

... I was half as cool as this guy. (thanks to Ars Technica)

I not really sure what they where thinking at DIA when the put up this sign.

I think I can relate ...

U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion - The Onion

The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.

What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world's largest economy.

"Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…" said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. "You know what? It doesn't matter. None of this -- this so-called 'money' -- really matters at all."

read on ...

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!

Well, shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head ... well, shit happens!

Protect Yourself from Ambulatory Gadget Fixation Syndrome (AGFS) - PC World

"Hey. Hey. Hey! hey! hey! Look up. Look up. Look up." That's me walking to work on Second Street in San Francisco, about to get into a head-on with someone whose full attention is on the smart phone or Kindle they're holding close to their face while walking, paying no attention to where they're going.

Sometimes they don't even hear me (most of them have their headphones in), forcing me to veer widely out of their path. Sometimes they hear me, look up momentarily with a sort of glazed-over look, then return to the device. Sometimes they hear me and alter their course, shooting me a look that says: "how dare you; I was updating my Facebook." Like I had just violated one of their most basic rights.

read on ...

 
Prickly City by Scott Stantis -- 19 April 2009

Drum circle anyone?

 
Dick Locher - 06 March 2009

DIXON: Yeah, all-night screaming, projectile vomiting, nuclear diapers. You have no idea. The reason they make them so damn cute is so you don't suffocate them in their sleep.

WELLS: Sir, you have four kids.

DIXON: Yeah, why do you think I enjoy my job so much? Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers to death, but trust me, having four kids makes going through a Stargate and facing off against alien bad guys look like nothing. This is relaxing.

WELLS: Then why did you have four?

DIXON : Well One's pretty bad, but you figure you've got to have two so the little guy could have a brother or sister, right? Then you have two boys and the wife says she wants a girl, so you figure, "hell, three can't be much worse than two," right? What you don't realize is your brain is fried because you haven't slept. After three, four is no big deal. You're so deep in it, nothing seems to matter anymore. It's chaos. You just try to make it through each day alive. In the end You spend all the energy you have left trying to get them into bed, only to lie awake praying they don't get hooked on drugs, hurt, or worse, end up dead in an alley somewhere.

WELLS: Can't wait, Sir.

DIXON: Yeah, miracle of birth, my ass. I'll tell you what a miracle is. Birth control that works.

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

There was a farmer, Perley Moore, who had recently bought a truck and found that the "basic price" was only the beginning. Once the salesman had added on all the extras - towing package, toolbox, fifth-wheeler attachment, etc. - the price was quite a bit higher. Well, by a strange turn of fate, that same salesman stopped by Perley's farm one day to buy a cow. The dealer examined the herd, picked out a likely specimen, and asked about the price.

"That's a hundred-dollar cow," Moore replied directly.

"That's fair enough," said the salesman. "I'll take her."

"Well, now, that's the basic price," Moore added, getting out pencil and paper. "There are one or two extras, of course." He made a few notes and handed the paper to the dealer. Here is the final invoice:

Basic cow $100

Two-tone exterior $45

Storage compartment and dispensing device $60

Four spigots @ $10 each $40

Genuine cowhide upholstery $75

Dual horns @ $7.50 each $15

Automatic fly-swatter $35

Total $370

Check out this post on Craigslist - a Toshiba 600MHz laptop with 64MB of memory and a 6GB harddrive for only $240 !!!!

Oh... and it's "INTERNET READY" with a 56K modem.

Better jump on this deal!  

I know, it's in bad taste, but that doesn't mean it's not funny!

And remember, please think of the kittens.  

Many more here.

via Ubuntu Gallery

I just cracked up when I saw this, a Neiman-Marcus Signature Dog Bone. And they say people spoil their pets.  

Top ten reasons I procrastinate:

1.

Hmm ... I'll finish this later.

This just in from PNC, the Christmas Price Index, aka 12 Day$ of Chri$tma$, is up 3.1% this year compared to 2006.

Watch the report here.

how bad is the writers strike affecting the late night hosts?

Dave can't even affort a razor anymore!  

I did a little animal rescue, but I don't think it is going to work out.

He keeps using my computer for Doggy Porn and drinking all my Fat Tires !!!

Peruse best-of-craigslist

Frank Caliendo on Letterman during Impressionists Week - youtube

David Lettermans "Top Ten Favorite George Bush Moments" - youtube

You have to wonder who the sign is for, the driver or the pedestrian.

A brilliant post on " 10 things i hate about star trek". It's a good laugh, hell, I'm still chuckling.

While your there, check out the replies, the bashing is pretty humorous in of itself.

via Fake Steve Jobs

A few iPhone units are having some battery problems

A nice play on the Dell battery fires. 

So Bush and Cheney are having breakfast at a diner in Washington when the waitress comes up and Bush says, "Can I have a quickie?"
The waitress grabs the menu away and storms off, saying "I thought we were done with that nonsense after Clinton left!"
Cheney leans over to Bush and says, "Sir, it's actually pronounced 'quiche'."

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBOOB will cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

via mrgreensmistress